Of Instagram, Relationships and real life issues.

Some minutes ago, I was watching  past Interviews of  Vanessa Mdee and her boyfriend. Now Vanessa happens to be my favourite female East African Musician because of her Jovial nature and the fact she is always smiling. From her interviews and everything she exemplifies life, is bubbly, smiles so much and is at ease with everyone and has not let fame get into her to the extend of making those around her feel they are no longer important because currently in the generation we live when someone start making it to the limelight no matter how feeble they start feeling that people should worship them. Also despite being in a crazy Industry Vanessa admits her relationship with God is very firm and she acknowledges God for who she is today and  goes to Church at least three days a week. That’s a challenge to me i only go to Church on Sunday. She is exactly the type of a girl I am aiming to be.


I was trying to follow their love story because I am more into real life experiences than fiction, no wonder I choose to only write about my real life . However, I hardly follow blogs about celebrities and if I happen to read them I don’t get to believe it until they clarify it themselves because I know being known by more than your family members and friends can be quite a task even if you are just a prefect in high school.  So I only got to find that she has a boyfriend last year on December when I visited her country.
 And how I came to find out about it was funny because my phone broke and then this guy in an attempt to cheer me up he asked the Deejay to play particular Songs and one got my attention. Nina wivu by Jux.
‘Niamini Leo hii, sitamani mwingine tena,kazi zangu mishemishe, nitarudi nyumbani mapema, unachonipa babe, singetaka nikuumize, na zile raha unazonipa, wewe,
napenda unavyokata unanipa taratibu. Mimi mgonjwa unanitibu we tabibu, nikikushika unatazama chini unaona aibu, we tabibu, unanipa raha…’
When I asked more about the song I was told the guy is Vanessa’s Boyfriend. Of course I got interested but I didn’t follow much about the story until today.
Now today I have watched several of their interviews and what really got me was how they were speaking about each other that time they had broken up.
 This two happen not only to be dating but they’ve been best of friends for years and well, honestly I think everyone including me would wish for such a relationship where the guy is not only a boyfriend but someone we can talk about anything, anywhere and anytime. I mean there is so much with dealing with someone who is not your friend you know. Pride. Trying to protect each other’s dark side because you only want them to see them best side of you. Oh no! That’s just too much I would want somebody who is comfortable opening up to me because he sees me as a friend first. There are too many fake people you know. But anyway I still acknowledge the fact that our stories can’t be the same and that’s the beauty of life but hey what’s wrong with a girl’s making a wish?.
But nothing impressed me than the words they were using before they got reunited . Vanessa said she will always love Jux and in another interview Jux said the same and that it would hurt him badly if she got a man. When Jux was asked what he learnt from Vanessa he said she is not only a good girl but a smart woman who given they were in the same industry challenged him to be great. He said Vanessa set the bar too high for him to settle on just an average girl. Now that’s the beauty of first serious love stories if both of you happened to have loved each other on the same wave length. You grow together and learn from each other.
But then  what made me laugh is their examples of reasons that made them break up. Of course they said there was no cheating but there were deep issues that they can’t really air in public but in addition to that Vanessa says she apparently had issues with Jux’s texting and communication habits. She says she would texts him at six a.m he replies at 2 p.m and she can see him online and blue ticks.😀 She would calls him, be ‘like hi babe?’, he is like ‘hi’ ‘umekula’ then he is like ‘Mmhh’, uko Sawa? he is like ‘Mhhh’ so she is like Mmhh ni nini?
That she would call him all excited and then he would be cold on her and she couldn’t take it anymore and that is why she wrote that song of Kisela she couldn’t take those tabias of Kisela anymore and left him then Jux regretted it and wrote utaniua. Awww, how cute is that?
Anyway one thing I have always thought is maybe I am too dramatic when it comes to Communication. I thought initially it’s because maybe I don’t know how relationships and friendships are supposed to work generally so maybe I expect too much. But listening to Vanessa I realised I am not alone and it’s okay to be sensitive on issues no matter your age. Jux on defense he would assume talking to her in Person was enough because of their busy schedule but he later learnt  you should never assume what the other person will take issues, because we all have different emotions, because to him he thought texting is not that important until he got dumped and he no longer assumes issues anymore with Vanessa no matter how small they might look to him. He said a very important point though, that you cannot be friends with the person you love after you date because every step they make is bound to hurt you. Anyway I guess in future i will buy his statement but I guess it’s different I see some friends of mine remaining friends with their exes.
In on one of her perfomances Vanessa talked about Instagram and said the luckiest women on earth are those that their men are not in Instagram. She went to elaborate how one day she was sitting next to Jux and then he followed this lady and liked her photo and the way Instagram is mannerless so it notifies everyone Jux liked this😂 She said the lady that Jux followed is tall yet she is very short, is light skinned yet she is dark, and is very curvy with long hair yet she is skinny with Horse hair😀 Her words ‘Nikauliza Vanessa, hili tako amefuata nitashindana nalo kweli😀?’ (I just can’t stop laughing at this statement I mean have never imagined people go to all that extend of comparing themselves to the women their men follow , things that happen behind the doors waah ) She goes on to say that thing annoyed her so much until she recorded a song about it and told him to unfollow that lady. She said Instagram is very dangerous because you will see your man following things you don’t understand.😀
Now I have never given Instagram much of thought I never follow anyone by the way because last year I followed one of my friends back. He is quite famous and he would call me babe on my first first Instagram posts and then his crazy ex-girlfriend saw that I don’t know how She looked for me and threatened me yet I was not his girlfriend . She said he just don’t flirt with girls. ,(Hehe, it’s a long story but to cut it short he wants to marry only a particular category of girls which I fit in and he happened to tell his friend who told his ex girlfriend and she went mad, drama huh!) Since then I have been very careful with Instagram I privatised my account and I only log to post and then I am out. I recently followed the man I was interested in but then I unfollowed him after few minutes because I felt I was setting myself in for a disapointment with the notifications of his liking activities in Instagram.
But Vanessa’s experiences with Instagram got me me entertained so much.
The two of them just made my night. Since they solved their indifferences I wish them well.
And their story is a perfect example that relationships regardless of your social status or how long and well you’ve known each other are generally not easy. There are ups and downs, you gotta work for yours it’s not guaranteed to be easy, issues will come up, some unexpected (like who you follow on instagram, hehee, this one though) It’s upon you to sit down every time an issue arises and address it because if not handled it’s those small things that accumulates and build resentment.

Hey, just  a young girl taking notes  from real life examples.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Andrewismme says:

    Beautiful read and good flow of words.


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