If you read this and you happen to know my daddy
Tell Him, that God blessed him with a daughter
Who loves kids and humanity: in the footsteps of Mother Teresa
A bright daughter
Who at 19, sat for her last 8.4.4 paper.
That despite the many blessings at young age I do not know what the future hold
I am only human, so sometimes I get scared.
I get afraid …
That I might miss growing up, my age mates are planning and thinking of the next party and what can trend
That my dreams and responsibilities are too big for a young girl with a small voice, challenging story and small bodied.
That I am sacrificing so much moments for ambitions that may be too big to be be realized… Or worse in the process my young soul and spirit gets crushed…
That I get afraid
Of failure or dying young with nothing to my name or something of substance that I have done to those around me: To add value in this world
That my days are increasing and I know I am getting older, if not already old…
But I have found out that no matter how old, independent I get, I still crave for his presence, that deep down, I am still his shy little girl… fearful, timid…
That sometime I wish I was Lucky to have him by my side
To push me to try, knowing that if I fail I won’t be alone and rejected
But I will still be that girl who has her dad
To love her unconditionally, and when sad or broken, she has someone to call, comfort or hold.
Maybe I would not be so afraid
To give my heart away or to allow emotions away to get carried
Maybe It wouldn’t be so hard for me to figure out how to deal with situations: like cracking and understanding the definition of a man…
Maybe I would have learnt from him if he was around.
That I still pray for Him everyday
That I forgave and accepted God will to chase my destiny
Whether there are storms, or the waters are calm and still.
Though sometimes I wonder how life would be
To have him read my poems, my articles ,my books and call him everyday
‘ Should I even take the offer and the risk of publishing and going all out? Or ‘What do you think I should edit in this story daddy. ?’
Then he laughs over the phone ‘You are now old enough. Don’t be afraid of being all out. Just Like Maya Angelou, it will set you apart. let me go through it, though I guess I can’t help much, I am not good at expressing myself through the pen, you should be editing mine not vice versa, you are the only one gifted in writing in our family’
But tell him that I love him unconditionally…
That I strive to be better today than I was yesterday
For him… For generation to come…
That it may take long for me to come out of my insecurities now that he is not here to guide me and give me confidence when I am in tears or fears.
But tel him that one day
One day his daughter will shine
One day …he will be a proud father
Whether he will be watching from heaven
Or he will be right here with with me by then…
Tell him that my life journey has trained me so well that the walk is not predictable
Sometimes there is joy and happiness
Sometimes there is sorrows and sadness
Sometimes there is abundance
Sometimes there is scarcity
Sometimes you may be the most neglected, ridiculed or despised
And then you become the most favoured, sought after and respected
So whatever comes your way learn from it and be be grateful
Sometimes the challenges are blessings in disguise, they turn from scars to something beautiful
God is the teacher, he trains our lives sometimes through the most painful
To make us the most fruitful.
So regardlesss of circumstances
Regardless of the pain or broken deams
Regardless of your relationships or friendships
Your face it brightens
Because God hears our prayers
Leave the worries
Always be happy
(If you see my Daddy or anyone who has been separated with their loved one for long, or is simply sad, please hug them for me and tell them to Always Smile😍)