Sometimes when I go to bed or when alone I think of you
I try to find an imagination of who you are, the real you
Are you tall, dark, slender, fat or brown?
Do you love animals, cats, any that you own?
Do you speak English, French or German?
Are you from Africa, America, Asia, Antarctica, Europe Or Australia?
But I never get answers and my view of you gets blurred because it’s hard to imagine something you’ve never met or known.
Maybe… Maybe I have met you or may be not. Maybe you are nothing close to the boys that excite me
Maybe you are short and keep monkeys or pigs as pets and not cats or dogs like majority, or Teddys like me
Maybe you dislike writing and reading, and instead of letters you will prefers face conversations, audios and videos from others and me
Maybe your perfect description of a weekend is mountain climbing and exciting outdoors activities and you will say no to indoor staying the whole day with me,
Maybe you don’t use deodorants and colognes, have no sideburns and beards and prefer manly smell and the only grooming you can take will be from our children or me
Maybe you will want your children to grow in the noisy city and not in the quiet suburbs like me
But all In all despite our indifferences I hope I eventually find you. And you eventually find me.
I hope before you find me I will have learn to understand God in depth and memorize several bible verses that I can teach and pass it to our children
I hope I will have learnt to trust in God to the extent that even if we lose our jobs and our dreams are at stake I will not get depressed but will stand strong knowing it won’t break us but will build us and from it we learn
I hope I will have let go of the fears that I have and that I won’t make you a victim of problems that are unique and should have been sorted on my own
I hope I will be ready enough to give what you deserve, the whole body with my hand soul and mind.
I hope I will have explored my many God given talents and use them to glorify God
I hope I will have made something to myself and helped as many children as I could
I hope I will have served God fully as a youth and I will then will be ready to serve him when married.
Before you find me I hope I will have been accustomed to life trials and pain
And only break on big matters and not things like a bee sting or growing ul pain
I hope I will have been strong enough to handle home, the institution
And be a pillar of strength for you and for our future daughter or son.
Before you find me I hope I will have let go of my selfish needs
And be able to love and accommodate our extended families
I hope I will have matured enough to understand you won’t always be my side and that you will have families, career, and friends besides
Before you find me I pray my mind would have settled that it will not be all about me and my career
That I will need to juggle between motherhood, wife hood and my career
I hope I will have learnt a lot in life to know that to you I should come as a helper and not a source of more pain and troubles.
Before you find I pray that God will prepare you and guide all your steps
I so much wanted to replace the I with we, but I don’t know what may be your aspirations and dreams
But I pray God will give you your heart desires
And heal your heart from the heartbreaks you might have and stitch the broken pieces
I pray that you enjoy growing up and discovering yourself bits by bits
I pray that God unite us and abide us in love someday despite and psychological indifferences
I pray that you will have been tired of games and tricks and you will be sure a relationship with me is all you want: to commit.
I Just pray God takes both of us to unimaginable places
Before I gets replaced with we
Before I find you
Before you find me