This year on August I went to visit my best Friend Forever (remember the term BFF, yeah it still exists😇) She has been my BFF since high school. I had two best Friends in high school. They were the sweetest girls on earth. My high school life was full of mixed emotions- Gratitude that my life had taken new direction for the better and confusion of self awareness that led to depression. I battled with a lot of issues beyond my control in high school and at some point the weight weighed me down. But thanks to my close support system I made it through.
My Bff and I had a lot to catch up. I am tempted to write her name here but I will not because I had not consulted her before writing this. We had not met for a long time. A lot of things had changed for both of us. And the only thing that remained constant was our friendship which remains very strong despite distance and years without seeing each other.
Back then we both came from different backgrounds. But she loved me. I loved her. And that’s the only thing that mattered. She took care of me as her small sister and pampered me. There were many days she shared her personal effects with me. On my earlier high school days when I was still timid to speak up She helped me raise fare to go to my village on occasions that I did not have. All this while she never complained and some people didn’t understand why she had chosen me when she could easily have friends who were her social status.
I can write on and on about my high school BFF because she was simply a God send angel. But I will just go direct to what made me write this article.
In our recent conversation we talked about everything in our high school days. The highs and the lows. We had so many good memories together that cannot erase. We missed everyone who loved us and laughed at everyone who did something bad to us. We frowned and clicked about teachers who called us names (one called her rubbish, now given who she is in the hierarchy of this country that was really an insult 😂 But the same teacher used to send me out of class regularly, shout at me, call me good for nothing, so I guess she must have been rubbish for choosing me as a best friend because only rubbish can stick to good for nothings😀)
Now it’s been few years since I left high school, and I had buried the negative memories, but sharing with her our old days made me look back and triggered memories afresh as if it was yesterday.
Now, I have been this kid who God gives favours. My life has not been all rosy yes, and I am still learning to deal with some scars and pain. But our God is a merciful God, He compensates everything He takes away from us. He compensated all my tears with favours, random people always come out of unexpected places to help me. Some will notice me when I am giving speeches, others will just like me from our interaction, some I will approach for an issue I have only for them to turn my life round and henceforth. My life has been a life of grace. Sometimes I look back and I feel it’s like a movie, you know I am just but a humble girl whose God has taken to amazing places and connected with great people.
But that hasn’t resonated well with some people. For instance in high school I had so many stories fly around my life. You know people look at the world from their lenses, and if they have made poor choices with their morals they want to extend their insecurities to you by judging you with what they do. If they have not experienced God’s unmerited favour they cannot believe you get favours for free. I had some of the wildest accusations ever, because of some people who chose to help me unconditionally. Some teachers said things I cannot write. And some students did too. And bad enough they were smiling at me and I didn’t get to hear of them until I left high school. They actually called someone close to me and started narrating to her why she should stop loving me (Can you imagine😀). They thought they were going to to turn her against me but she came smiling, and told me everything then she said ‘I have lived with you, and I know you, those people don’t know you even an inch so let them talk’ Huh!Things that people say.
And what really is annoying is some of those people are still following and questioning about my life. I get reports from some of my friends that they call them regularly asking them Where do I live?With Who? What do I do? When I was thinking of all those things they said about me I got angry and stopped posting in social media for a while. God opened another chapter in my life and I said I am not going to post anything so that those who follow me in social media will have nothing to see. It doesn’t help that I am a girl who loves photos so I have so many lined up since August😂
I took that moment to reflect about life in general and why people find it hard to celebrate others when they are making big moves in life. And this is what I found out.
Most people already have an Idea of what a successful person should look like. People already have an idea of what a blessed person should look like physically , financially, and background wise. Average looking people should not. People from low backgrounds should not move mountains and if they do you will hear accusations like ‘they slept their way up, they have joined a cult, or it is all fake.’ And if somebody falls short of the worldly perfections seem to be overcoming the limitations set up by the society they try to put them down. And that is why I have had so many people who have it all fight me, you know , I am just but a girl from a village who is trying to rise and God is opening for her doors that look unimaginable in the eyes of human beings.
Fortunately, God’s ways are not human ways. Even if you look at the Bible , God always used the most unexpected people. Moses was stammerer and a shepherd, Joseph was a slave and later a prisoner, David was a small forgotten boy and a Shepherd, Esther was a Foreigner, Ruth was a widow and even Jesus himself was a son of a carpenter. In today’s life all those are ordinary people and in the society and they go unnoticed everyday. Yet God used them to reveal His glory.
Since I was a young kid, I have had situations where people overlook and look down upon me only for them to come and apologize later. The proud ones of course never do after I prove them wrong they follow silently. I have had so many people disapprove me in cThey disapprove my dressing. My hairstyle. My voice. Little did they know that their negative opinions pushed me to make it to this far so that their opinions of me do not define me.
Now this is my advise to anyone reading this article.
‘Quit listening to every negative voice out here. People will always have something to criticise you about. There are people who follow your moves silently everyday hoping you fail. (I guess explains why majority people check your WhatsApp status daily without saying anything to you) Some monitor your moves in social media and ask those who know about you how you are pretending they care. Majority of the negative accusers in your life never saw you go anywhere in the first place, and their negative voices are expressions of the embarrassment they are facing to see you grow and be blessed daily beyond their imaginations.
My dear Friend, it doesn’t matter how your life has been, it doesn’t matter how many tears you’ve shed that the world don’t know of . Only you understand the journey and the pain. It doesn’t matter how many stories have been said against you. You ought to know that when God is blessing you and moving you to greater heights that’s when small minded people start fighting you because they cannot handle your growth.
Every morning you’ve gotta wake up and do what you can do. Leave those against you behind and keep moving forward. It doesn’t matter who rejected and thought you weren’t good enough. It doesn’t matter what they said about you. God will open doors for you. They are wishing you fail. But don’t prove them right. Don’t let their opinions win. Victoria Osteen wrote today, ‘There will always be fault finders and accusers in this life. Don’t give them space in your head. Fill your thoughts with God’s truth and reject the untruths that would try to hold you back.’
Ignore the negative voices. Keep winning